Putting The Pieces Back Together
by Alexis St. Claire
Summary: After the first night with Erik, Christine's opinion starts to change. She starts to see Erik in a different light. Something other than her teacher or her fallen angel. Christine starts to realize he's something infinitely more precious to her.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is based on both the book and the movie, scenes from the movie intertwined with descriptions from the book. Enjoy. P.S. It starts after he has sent her back above ground.

I lay in my bed and wondered. Dreamed. Imagined. Was it all a dream? No. It couldn't have been I could still see his malformed face in my mind. I could feel his hand in mine and his voice rang in my ears. Once I had gotten over the shock, I went over his features in my mind. No nose. That was the biggest one. His eyes, his glorious amber eyes were sunken in, surrounded by a gaunt pale face, not ugly mind you just … skeletal-like. His skin was so thin it was almost see through, his cheeks, sunken in almost as much as his eyes. He was obviously starving down there.

It was true, he was no handsome prince but it was not as horrid as I had first thought. Everything had just happened so fast. He'd been so terrifying. He had been so angry . . . So hurt . . .

My breath caught on a low sob as I remembered the pain and, and loneliness I could see in his eyes. OH, Erik. Why? Why do you torture yourself so? Why do you push everyone away from you?

Hot tears flowed unrelentingly down my face and into my hair. I had rejected him, though not in the cruelest sense, but to him … A man who must've been rejected his whole life. . . .

No love . . .

No comfort . . .

No compassion from any human alike.

Just misunderstanding. And darkness. Erik's world was already so dark to begin with . . .

How could the world have shunned someone so beautiful just because they had an, an ugly outside? And I had not the strength to look upon his face; the one time he needed me. Sure, Erik was deformed, but what could that compare to his soul?

I banged my forehead with my wrists, the pain not even registering. He had taken care of me my whole life, granted it was under the guise of an angel, and hopefully, if he ever saw fit to speak to me, or even look upon me again I shall ask why he felt the need to hide his human nature, but nonetheless he had been there for me.

Oh, Christine you selfish girl! 

What would make you think he even wants to hear from you again? He's probably cursing you right now, wishing you were dead.

I flipped on my side, cursing myself with the words I had heard Joseph once use when he was drunk. They were foul and vulgar but as I insulted myself I felt slightly better about the pain I had dealt Erik. But only slightly. How would I find him? How could I make it up to him? He would surely make it difficult.

I groaned and rolled around, burying my head in my pillow. Oh, Erik.

I'll make it up to you, I promise.


	2. Chapter 2

When Christine awoke the next morning, it was to a dark cloud rising through the sky, much like her mood. She dragged herself out of dead barely before Madame Giry stormed in with cane in tow.

"Where have you been?" she demanded in a strident tone that thundered almost as much as Erik's had. Christine winced.

"Never mind that," Madame Giry waved her hand in dismissal before Christine could even answer. "The directors have been waiting for you, I suggest you don't keep them waiting any longer. Then she left with a swish of her dark dress. _Well, that was helpful. _Christine thought, disgruntled.

She hurried to dress herself, expelling her breath in a whoosh of air as the laces for her corset were laced unbearably tight. She grumbled under her breath as she pulled on her dress.

"Sorry Miss, did you say something?" Asked a round, fey-like maid.

Christine glared, "No." Loss of sleep was not good for one's mood. Neither was a guilty conscience.

Christine stalked across the stage, her footsteps unnaturally heavy. For the first time since hiring her, people took a step back, because, to their apparent horror, she wore an expression quite similar to the one Carlotta would wear right before a fit. Christine paid them no heed and started her warm ups.

"Mmmee me me memo me!" She started low, progressively getting higher.

"ah aha aha AH, ha ha ha ah ha ha AH, Ah AH ah, ha ha, aaaahhhhhh aaaaaghhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH-" suddenly she choked. Christine gasped for air, clutching at her throat as it slowly closed off. She fell forward, her hands breaking her fall.

"Christine!"

"Christine!"

"_Chrissy!"_

The last impassioned, worried call came from Meg as she launched herself from between two side dancers. Meg kneeled down next to her.

"What's wrong?"

Christine shook her head in confusion. "I'm not sure, I-"

Christine gasped as her throat convulsed. "I can't," she croaked.

She looked at Meg with wide eyes, horror in her face.

"I can't sing."


	3. Chapter 3

I slunk back to my room, confused, but most of all, sad. I missed Erik. Silly how after just one day, I missed him. Or maybe it wasn't. My gaze went to the mirror. A mirror he had once pulled me through to his world of darkness. I remembered the cool leather of his glove, the silken slide of his voice and the warm flutter of his breath.

Suddenly, an incorrigible idea introduced itself to me. I smiled taking a step towards the mirror, and then hesitated. Was this a good idea? Probably not. Maybe I shouldn't…

"Christine!" Raul's voice suddenly sounded near my door.

"The directors told me you had a bit of a problem in rehearsal today, and I wanted to come and check on you." His voice boomed from behind my door.

Well, that was my sign. Hefting my gown I hurried to the front of the mirror. I pressed my hands to the abnormally freezing surface, smudging the smooth clearness with my oily fingertips. I pushed.

Nothing happened.

Frowning, I moved my hands around the rim of the mirror pushing against them and again nothing happened. Perhaps it only opened from the inside. No, because then how would Erik leave once he was in my room? He certainly couldn't walk out the front door. There had to be something around it, that was used as a trigger.

I started to grasp at the wall surrounding the mirror.

"Christine, are you there?"

Oh, blast it! I scrabbled frantically at the wall. _Please, please, please, let there be something, anything …_

"Christine, are you alright?" Raul's voice was becoming quite panicked now, and the doorknob started to rattle loudly.

Finally my fingers grasped something loose on the very top left corner of the mirror, and perspiring lightly, I pulled. And promptly crashed through a mirror, that wasn't there. I grunted as I fell forward and slammed into hard, rough stone, my body lying on the floor like a squished fly. My breasts ached, and my head throbbed, and I glanced up to see the light from my room pouring into the pitch-black tunnel. And then, just as suddenly as the mirror had opened, it closed.

I was enclosed in darkness. I was vaguely aware of Raul bursting into my room.

"Christine! … Christine?"

And when I craned my neck sideways, I realized I could watch through the mirror. I looked on as Raul looked stupidly about the room, his calf-brown eyes studying everything in its perfect place. And then he sighed, his shoulders heaving downwards and hanging his head in a defeated gesture. I almost felt bad. Like I had just shooed away a homeless dog. Almost, was the operative word.

I grunted as I pushed myself up from the hard ground and gingerly felt around my body. I winced as I brushed a particularly sore spot right under my ribs and inhaled slowly, trying to feel if anything was broken.

There wasn't, everything, thankfully, was still in placed. I peered around trying to find any source of light beyond the silhouette my room gave, but there was none.

I stood up wobbly-kneed, and felt along the cold walls, when I was confident I had gotten my balance, I carefully started to follow along the wall.

I walked on for what seemed like hours, stumbling over rocks, and cutting my hands on rough stone. Until I came to the open wade pool, there was no boat as there had been that night, and the water was no longer a calm green but a vicious gray. The depths swirled ominously, and I shivered wondering how many lives had been lost to it's clutching waves,

I bit my lip thoughtfully._ Way to go Christine, just how are you going to get across that lake, huh?_

I squinted, trying to see in the dim room, and crept closer to the lone torch nailed to the wall. There was no way around, it flowed through all the cellars, and there was no chance in Hades I was going back to my room after trekking all the way down here. That left one thing left to do: swim across.

My skin rankled in disgust then I hiked up my gown's skirts before wading into the deep pool. An ominous sludge squished between my toes and goose bumps erupted all over my flesh. I swallowed thickly, breathing through my mouth in attempt to keep my mind off of what I was possibly walking through.

A sudden drop off caused my foot to slip and before I knew it, I was submerged. Foul tasting water shuddering through my mouth as precious bubbles of oxygen exploded from my nose. A scream burst from my lips, muffled by the water. My feet kicked up instinctively, sending me back up to the surface. My head through backwards, catapulting the hair out of my face, as my lips spewed out the contaminated water. My lungs seized the blessed air allowed to me as my legs flailed about under water, keeping me afloat.

I struggled against my weighty gowns, they were dragging me back under! Frantically I ripped at the seams, not even caring I was ruining a priceless gown. This was no time for vanity. Eventually the seams gave way and sank to a watery grave, while I, the victorious one, remained afloat.

I looked about and noticed the lack of current. I hadn't been swept away in my panic thankfully and I was actually farther from where I had fallen. I studied the shadowed cavern, and made out amongst the shadows a sort of tunnel. It must have been the one Erik had used that night. With a firm breath of determination to stiffen my resolve I forged on. The bitter taste of metal still haunted my gums and teeth, and now my nose had no choice but to smell the atmosphere around me.

It wasn't as bad as I had expected, it was a sewer after all, and you all have imaginations. But it was still bad. I wondered briefly between grueling strokes why I had not noticed it when I was here before. But I already knew the answer to that. I had been too enchanted by Erik. His mysterious ways, and melodic voice were a lethal combination. They still were. The mysterious quality was lesser than before, but still there. Thinking of how I hurt him again only made me swim harder. My arms had gone and my feet had begun to slow in exhaustion and right about when I thought I needed to find land fast before I drowned, a light appeared in the near distance of the cavern.

I sighed with relief and forced my aching limbs to move once more. As I drew closer I recognized it as the ledge, which Erik had helped me out of the boat onto. As I reached the edge I almost sagged with relief before accidentally inhaling more water, spasms rocking my body as my lungs attempted to expel out the water that had entered them so rudely.

I wearily hauled myself from the water, not even bothering to get my feet out of the water before collapsing flat to the ground. My breasts heaved, even as my body shivered in the cold air. You would think there would be none in this place but there was. I lifted my self up, slowly regaining my footing and looked almost dazedly at the room before me. It was just how I remembered an entryway, leading to the sitting room. Where his organ would be. I was surprised he hadn't heard me and wondered briefly if he wanted me to leave. Then I shrugged, it didn't matter, I was staying; I'd already seen him angrier than I could comprehend, could it get any worse?

I shuffled hastily though the passageway, hesitantly poking my head into the room. It was warm and lightened only by one or two candles. Firelight was cast over everything, and the organ, sadly was without a maestro. It looked like Erik was gone. Probably swinging about the Opera ceilings I thought with an amused smile.

I moved about now, studying the room now that I was not distracted by it's ever-elusive owner. I recognized the red satin bed higher up in the cave-like home. The mannequin in the corner though, caught my attention. An exact replica of myself stood in the corner, carefully, caringly adorned with little trinkets and flowers. A veil graced my still features, and dress covering the half body.

I was slightly disturbed but more so … touched. It was a shrine to me though, and that was what bothered me. I was only human after all. For a few minutes I considered that while I had been imagining an Angel guarding me, perhaps Erik had been imagining me an Angel myself. I frowned; we would have to talk about this. I was only a woman and if he was going to set me on a pedestal we were to be doomed from the beginning.

But I was tired and cold, and hungry and determined, without another thought I climbed the steep steps to the elevated room looking about it with a sort of comfortable fondness. I scanned the room and hurriedly skipped over to the massive trunk I spotted. After opening it I was happy to discover many nice gowns, but stumped to see none proper foe sleeping in. all that was suitable for sleep wear was a man's button-up shirt and pair of drawers. I blushed deeply, imagining these having been used by Erik, but it was either that or sully the gorgeous bed with my damp clothes. I chose the former.

My chemise fell from me with a relieved wet slap, and my skin was covered with goose bumps my womanly breasts prickled and drawn up tightly. I winced as they scraped against the starched shirt but comforted myself that I would soon be warm again. After tugging the briefs on with some difficulty, they were a little tight around my rump, I finally deemed myself somewhat fit for a nap. I turned towards and sighed at the heavenly glow that surrounded it. It's shiny, plush pillows were just begging to be bounced on.

I glanced surreptitiously about, seeing no one there, of course there wasn't I gave a wild cry and bounded towards the bed, leaping on it in a great show of excitement and love. I landed with a great squish and delighted in the slowly deflating pillows. My smile was hindered slightly when I thought of Erik's reaction to me inside his bed. He might be angry, terribly so, and the slightly foreboding thought chilled me. Erik angry was not the best outcome, but then I shoved it away. Don't let me give you the illusion I wasn't frightened slightly, I was, tempers were never attractive in a man. Madame Giry had always said to avoid men with tempers, they only led to black eyes and broken bones. But Erik had yet to strike me … kind of. He hadn't really hit me the night I took his mask, just tossed me really. My mind weighed heavily on the small difference until I banished the thread all together. I just wasn't going to think about it, things went wrong when you analyzed them too much. I snuggled into the pillows, wrapping my self in the cool, silken sheets.

I nuzzled against them catching a hint of a spicy musk that was both at once attention grabbing and relaxing. I once again glanced around, society had taught me that all the things I was doing were strictly against moral conduct. But I lifted a sheet to my nose anyway and inhaled what I was sure was Erik's very essence. How many times must he have laid on these sheets while he wrote music? Or even while he thought of me? I blushed at the thought. _Christine, you mustn't think such things._

I slammed my eyelids shut, squinting them tightly together and burying my head in the pillows again. A smile crossed my lips, and all I thought was Erik and his sad, glowing eyes, begging me for love, and care…

I awoke to the sound of a slight shuffling of feet, I tensed; my muscles ready to propel me upwards before I remembered where I was and whom it was moving around below. When the shuffling abruptly stopped I knew he had noticed the wet trail I had most likely left on the floor below. I purposefully relaxed my muscles, breathing deeply again, and softening my face in a slight smile. I heard the slow continuation of his steps, imagining his stride lengthening, his steps quieting; a predator on the prowl.

I sensed rather heard his movements up the stairs. Then felt the vibration of his feet on the floor; I was so attuned to him. His rough gasp made my serene smile a little wider than necessary. He had seen my disposed gown by now.

I listened intently, and could hear the light swish of the gossamer fabric as he gently pushed back the crimson curtains. A sharp intake of breath greeted my pricked ears, and I strove harder to make my appearance more natural. Slow deep breaths pushed my chest up and down in a soothing manner, and I let my hand hang limply above my hand in an innocent curve.

I felt trembling, cold, fingers feather over my cheeks and I nuzzled into them slightly before sighing. Then they were gone, I let my brows frown slightly showing my displeasure, and again felt the sensation crossed over my wrinkled forehead, feeling them lightly smooth over the skin, and I obliged him, clearing my expression and again searching for his fleeting caresses. This game continued for a few meager seconds. He would stroke and I would follow wanting to feel his whole touch. Then I felt the ruse must come to an end, or else it would no longer be believable. I moved head faster to the side, towards where I envisioned he stood over me. Then I forced my eyes to slowly open, and then blink lazily.

My vision lightened and cleared and standing before me ever somber and mysterious was Erik. I smiled and reached my hands towards him, no matter that I had been fading my sleep for a moments my limbs were still drugged with a delicious lethargy my mind still somewhat fuzzy.

"Erik," I breathed happily, quietly. He tensed slightly, frowning at me.

"Where did you hear that name?" he demanded.

I frowned. "Hm?"

He said more forcefully, "The name? Where have you heard it?"

"Oh," I thought hard, fighting away the cobwebs from my brain. "I believe Madame Giry called you buy it more than once after I revealed your tutorship of me to her." (Roll with it guys, I just realized I jumped the gun on the name thing and am too lazy to go back and rewrite it.)

He huffed, like an angry bull preparing to charge, before he whirled around, his dark cape billowing about him. "Don't call me by it again."

"Why?" I asked, sitting up quickly.

"I do not have to have a reason, just do not do it!" he bellowed whirling towards me again. I forced a resolute calm about my face and lifted my chin defiantly.

"No, I don't accept that."

He froze the uncovered half of his face blank with astonishment.

"What?" his voice shocked, insulted, … impressed.

I inhaled deeply and stood up from the bed, walking over to him to stand in front of him. I tried to keep contact with those haunting eyes of his but I couldn't and lowered my gaze to his shirtfront.

"I like your name Erik," he flinched turning away, or trying to. I gently grasped his face in an insistent hold and pressured him to look at me. He faced me, but with closed eyes and I brought his head down low to my eye level.

"Erik," he flinched again. "Oh, Erik, won't you look at me?"

I stroked his porcelain cheeks, and his hand whipped up to grab my wrist in a harsh hold, his eyes snapping open in a glare. He flung my hands from him and backed away.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. "Why did you come? Did you wish to have another glimpse at the beast, the devil's child? Did you wish to point and laugh? Well, here's your chance. Go on! Rip Erik's soul into shreds! Kill Erik!" he screamed shrilly, his neck boiling red beneath the mask that covered his whole face. "Erik has no heart! Erik does not feel! He's a monster, a murderer! Erik deserves to die! Erik deserves-,"

"No!" I shouted, tears streaming from my eyes. I lunged at him, scrabbling desperately at his mouth to silence the obscenities spewing forth in a ruthless torrent.

"Don't say such things, I was a fool! A blind, stupid fool! No, no, no!" I cupped his cold cheeks in my hands, squeezing somewhat roughly.

"Erik deserves everything I could give! Everything! He deserves love, and caring! And understanding! And tenderness! And-and," a sob cut me off, choking off my speech. I desperately wanted Erik to understand. My heart felt like it was being torn from my chest one major artery at a time. His pain was my pain, his loss my own. His despair…

His eyes conveyed shocked awe, his anger having cleared away completely. One eye was slightly less visible than the other, the mask was slightly crooked now, but both were wide and clearer than I had ever seen them. One green eye and one blue blinked at me owlishly. I clutched his emotionless, porcelain face too tightly.

"Erik," I sobbed roughly, "deserves everything from me. Anything! An-y-thi-ng-," I was choked off by my tears again, but just because my words couldn't tell him didn't mean my lips couldn't.

I kissed him; desperately crushing my salt-coated lips to his cold, fake ones. I pulled back staring at him again.

"Erik deserves the world." I whispered raggedly, my throat raw from my wailing. It was only then I realized the tears trailing down my face weren't just mine. They were his too. They poured from his eyes like rain, trailing and dripping sweetly down onto my own cheeks from beneath the cover of his mask.

I held his face in my hands but it wasn't the same. I wanted his face, his real face! I looked into his wonderfully peculiar and for the second time in 24 hours I stole his mask away from him.

He cried out, a startled animal trying desperately to wriggle away from a trap, raising his arms in a defensive way, trying to block himself from my sight but I wouldn't let him. He continued to cry, his visage red and ugly, bright with excess blood to the head, it reminded of a baby's head, tender and pulsing with life.

I tried to calm his desperate cries, and finally they slowed into whimpering lost howls. Mournful and so heartbreakingly sad to hear.

He stopped struggling his whole body slumped forward in defeat his sobs taking on a helpless tone.

"Christine could never love Erik now! Erik is so ugly, so horrible, nobody could ever love Erik!"

"No!" I shouted from what seemed like the thousandth time. "Erik is LOVED! Erik will forever be loved! Be loved by me! Erik is loved! Erik is loved…"

I repeated the words over and over; 'Erik is loved, Erik is loved, Erik is loved,' and slowly his desperate tears subsided. In minutes my poor, dear Erik had the courage peek at me from tightly closed eyes. I met his watery tired, sad, desperate, HOPEFUL, gaze with my own loving, limpid, sincere one.

"Erik is loved," I whispered. I drew his head closer, touching our foreheads together. I smiled weakly, lovingly, happily, at him.

"Erik will always be loved," these words were whispered against his own bloated lips. Right before I laid mine against them.

I felt his gasp echo through me, his body tensing, freezing, a statue of living breathing flesh.

I pulled back my eyes open and clear on his, whispering, "Christine loves Erik," before I fell on him again. His lips trembled against mine, and I felt the renewed wetness of tears trailing around our connected mouths.

I kissed him as only I knew how, slowly, carefully, tenderly, and innocently.

"Christine loves Erik."

I kissed the mottled flesh of his cheekbones.

"Christine loves Erik."

I kissed the hole where his nose should be.

"Christine loves Erik."

I kissed his sunken eyelids, his brow, his chin, and his lips again.

"Christine loves Erik."

I pulled back staring into his eyes, so beautiful so forlorn.

"Always, and forever."

And with a grateful wail he collapsed against me, sliding down as if his knees would no longer support him. He collapsed to his knees, bowing before me.

"Erik is so grateful to his Christine! She is so kind, so wonderful to her monster Erik!" He kissed my toes and I couldn't bear it. I fell to kneel in front of him as well.

"No, Erik, no." I cooed tenderly, lifting his darling face to my own. "No," I whispered, nuzzling my nose against his tender, soft, bruised skin. "Erik is ever so wonderful to Christine," I looked at him with happiness in my eyes, smiling as best I could. "Christine couldn't ever imagine anything better than being with Erik. Christine loves Erik so."

He sobbed, his head laying limply in my hands then turning to burrow in my shoulder, a tiny furred animal seeking refuge from the cruel world and I gave it to him willingly. My Erik, my poor, poor Erik. I loved him so!

I stroked his shoulders as he cried, and welcomed his tight embrace. But while the emotion died down to a medial level I felt the pounding in my knees, and coaxed him to raised his head from my neck.

"Beloved Erik," I said smiling sweetly to him, "Let us get some rest. We both have need of it."

He nodded shakily, avoiding my gaze in a timidly shy manner. Erik rose, tugging me to my feet, having regained his strength and wandered to the bed, grasping a sheet and pillow before turning away from me.

I frowned. "Erik, what are you doing?"

He didn't turn.

"Erik will sleep on the floor so Christine may have the bed."

I didn't want that, as much as we had just shared, I wanted to spend the night together.

I stepped forward and took hold of Erik's hand, tugging him back around. Erik looked at me curiously when I took his cushion from him.

"Erik, as we have just confessed our love to each other, I see no problem with sharing sleeping quarters." I said it with a tone of knowledge and yet I still blushed heavily.

Erik's eyes almost bugged out of his head. He was silent.

And silent still.

I took the initiative and pulled him towards the bed using both hands. He followed as if sleepwalking.

I rearranged the pillows and sheets, rolling back the duvet so I could slide in. then I bade Erik to do the same. He jerkily sat down and then proceeded to sit ramrod straight. I giggled a bit, and lay my hand on his shoulder.

"Lie down Erik."

He obeyed, but was still stiff as a board.

I faced him.

"How ever are we going to cuddle if you're all stiff like that?"

Erik frowned and turned to me in confusion. "Cuddle?"

"Yes, cuddle, you know snuggle?" he continued to stare at me bemused. And my stomach bottomed out. No one had ever cuddled Erik, not even as a small boy. My throat tightened and my lips trembled for the lonely boy he must've been my poor, poor Erik!

I inhaled through a hideously stuffy nose, and scooted my body close to his while he watched with a scrutinizing eye. I curved my body to fit his, lifting my leg to hook it daringly over his leg.

Erik's mouth dropped open in a silent gasp and I laid my head on his bony shoulder. Frowning, I squirmed uncomfortably before settling my head more in the center of his chest where I could hear his heart beat fluttering against my ear. My arm went around his waist and sighed happily.

"This," I whispered solemnly, "is cuddling." I looked up from beneath my lashes, to see Erik staring down at me adoringly, his arms still limp at his sides. Without hesitating I instructed him to wrap them around me.

Slowly he did so, before tentatively lowered his cheek to my hair. We were silent a long moment, just absorbing each other's presence. Then he spoke in a reverent voice; "Erik loves his Christine. He loves her so very much. Erik does not deserve her."

I turned my head and kissed his chest, his joyful gasp pleased me to no end. "Well, Christine deserves Erik. She deserves everything Erik can giver her."

She felt his eager nod. 

"Erik will give Christine everything he can."

She lifted her head and looked at him lovingly.

"Christine just wants Erik."

He inhaled unsteadily, looking on the verge of tears once again.

"She has him, she has Erik's whole heart."

I placed my hand on his and raised it to my bosom, settling it against my warm flesh. He gasped shocked and stiffened but I held him there against the pulsing part of my body that gave me life.

"And Erik has hers, totally and completely."

Erik's eyes searched mine, and I stared back at him steadily. Slowly his eyes slid closed and tears once again leaked down his face but for once they weren't tears of sadness, or loneliness, they were tears of love and acceptance. His arms tightened around me and laid my head flat again, burying my nose in the warm nook of his throat. I fell asleep to the sound of Erik's joyful weeping and the secure feel of his loving arms wrapped around me. Never letting me go.


End file.
